Return
by RachelGarfield12
Summary: No matter where we may be, we will always find each other, because it was a promise we made to each other. Reincarnation AU! Rivamika!
1. Chapter 1

The darkening sky did nothing but dwindle their vision, the atmosphere was hushed except for the rapid gallops of the horse and the wagon's creaking.

No one dared to speak, no comic-relieving jokes, no simple conversations, it was all futile, their eyes were dead as they soon saw Wall Rose ahead, the green flares stopped a while ago, the titans became slow and clumsy.

For the first time, they dreaded going back within the safety of the walls, for warmth and comfort was not there anymore, nothing but words that hit them like knives, all those profanities, can't they see they have emotions too? Can't they see that they also regretted not saving their friends? They're also fragile!

Why can't they see?!

Hanji fired a green flare and the gate groaned to life, slowly lifting like it had all the burdens of the world. They rushed in, the crowd was already murmuring, but no one can blame them, besides the men they lost today was palpable, myriad of corpse stacked together in the wagon.

Some horses walked without owners, some sat in the wagon clutching their wounds, tears streaming down their faces.

One of the front vanguard, Ackerman, landed on the cemented ground, ignoring the roaring crowds that screamed such words that an average soldier would sink in to their knees and talk back to the crowd.

They all stopped in their tracks, the crowd stopped roaring, as Mikasa walked ahead of her team, ahead of the crowd that stared atrociously at her, carrying something within her toned arms.

She heard the deafening cheers later on as she departed away.

* * *

 _"Front vanguard, Ackerman you'll be with the elite squad they could use your prowess. Ackerman, don't make any blunder, I'm trusting you to follow their orders, understood?" Rivaille stared at her noticing the determination in the girl's eyes across him._

 _"Yes, sir, I'll make sure there won't be any." It was her fault that Rivaille was injured, if he wasn't, there wouldn't be so many casualties when capturing the female titan, he could've end it swiftly, she hesitated to kill Reiner and Bertholdt. She almost lost Eren, she was impulsive causing her ribs to be fractured._

 _She promised to be level-headed, to avoid casualties, even when her brother is involved, no._

 _(But, she was an intuitive person, can she really fulfill it? Rivaille already knew the answer.)_

 _"Dismissed." Footsteps echoed around the room as they exited, leaving Rivaille alone._

* * *

 _"Forward! From this moment on, dedicate your heart!" Erwin screamed at the top of his lungs, for added effect his immaculate horse stood on its hind legs, before sprinting out towards enemy territory, support teams hanged at the wall, some barely missing the sneaky hands of the gruesome titans._

 _They rode out towards Wall Maria, to unlock the secrets hidden inside the basement, waiting to be undiscovered._

* * *

 _"Armin!" Jean screamed as he kicked Armin way out of the titan's opened jaw before closing on him._

 _"Jean!" Later on the lanky titan fell, Jean rose barely missing his own death. He looked at his hands, wondering how broken his mother would be if they returned with his half body. Tears dropped on the ground as he looked down on the blood of an unknown soldier, before flying off._

 _"I gotta give you thanks, Yeager." He put aside his pride and decided to thank his rival._

 _"J-jean! I'm so sorry!" Armin was on his side clutching his forearms hard as tears was palpable on his face._

 _"Dude, Armin it's okay just be careful."_

 _"Oi! Sasha and I are almost running out of gas here! Let's go to the supply wagon! They're about to head here so let's scram!" Connie shouted above an evaporating titan before joining with his squad._

 _"Yeah, let's go..." They said before flying off._

* * *

 _"Look out!"_

 _"I-it's useless! We're too far!"_

 _Mikasa zipped ahead of them and slashed the titan's finger setting her teammate free, adjusting her hooks, she grabbed her teammate before landing gracefully at her horse._

 _"Mikasa!"_

 _"Thank God we have you here!"_

* * *

 _"E-erwin, Oi! We should retreat! Are you crazy! Why are we even continuing more ahead, Oi! Answer you bastard!"_

 _Erwin dodged the incoming hands effortlessly while the man who blabbered a while ago was grabbed and his scream for help went unanswered as other soldiers desperately dodged the towering hands._

 _Red flares fired around all areas, he continued straight, ahead, ready to abandon his conscience, the thoughts of reaching the basement always return to him, his curiosity insatiable._

* * *

 _"Hurry up brats! We got to catch up!" Rivaille barked at his squad, Jean was the last one to refill before hopping on his horse and they headed out, leaving the supply wagon and heading to their respective formation._

 _He ignored the conversation his squad were having, focusing to reach the middle vanguard. The back was catching up to them, they need to go back to their position fast._

 _"I'm worried about the front."_

 _"Or you meant Mikasa?"_

 _"We're all worried for her."_

 _Rivaille looked back and saw their worried face, he too could not help but worry abiut his excellent comrade._

 _"Oi, don't have doubts about her, she's not the top one for nothing so stop worrying about her and put your faith on her." He said, ending the conversation as they sprinted out on the open field._

* * *

 _It was chaos, everything was, when they arrived near Wall Maria, myriad of titans ran towards them, soldiers gave their lives fighting alongside the rogue titan of Eren._

 _Rivaille swiftly sliced the titan, before looking ahead of him, Ackerman sliced effortlessly, Jean speeding to the nape of a titan, Connie and Sasha did teamwork as they brought down a titan._

 _The front and middle mingled for the front was outnumbered, the middle caught up and offered help, even though help has arrived the titans didn't seem to dwindle._

 _"Mikasa!"_

 _He looked up and did not welcome the fear that clouded his judgment._

 _"Mikasaaa!"_

 _He zipped, praying to whoever God existing that she is safe, please let her be safe._

* * *

 _'It's so warm, so wet, where am I?" Mikasa opened her eyes and dreaded at what she was in, she was inside a titan's stomach, floating in this pool of blood, the surface in front of her bubbled before seeing this knowingly beheaded part._

 _She screamed, swimming away in instinct, she grabbed her swords which was thankfully still intact, the triggers didn't respond._

 _'I need to get out!' her mind screamed, her body reacted slicing the skin of the titan, fear was clawing through her mind, her slashed getting more callous, then, she felt it, the slit opened, spurting her out and the pool of blood._

 _She stared at the now crimson grass, it seemed quiet for the meantime, but then she heard the chaos, all the screams all the pleas she heard it all._

 _Large fingers snaked on her waist and she felt herself being lifted up, and that was when she knew she was being dragged again a titan, she looked up and saw the beaming turquoise eyes staring back at her._

 _For once, in the middle of a battle, she felt safe, and closed her eyes, letting exhaustion take over her body, all she remembered was being dragged to his large locks of his hair then an ear-splitting roar._

* * *

 _'I need to wake up...'_

 _'I need to fight...'_

 _'I need to protect them...'_

 _'Where am I, I need to wake up...'_

 _She slowly fluttered her eyes open, and she saw the colorful sky, it was windy, she sat up abruptly, a breeze came, swaying her black tresses._

 _They did it?_

 _They really claimed their territory?_

 _She heard her name and she turned, she was met with pairs of arms hugging her tightly._

 _"Welcome back to the living! Here I got some crackers!" Sasha handed it out to her and she ate it scrupulously, savoring the taste even though it tasted dull._

 _"Mikasa, you nearly gave me a heart attack you know?" She turned her head towards the voice of her brother, his eyebrows were furrowed in what seemed like regret and concern._

 _She just hugged him tightly reassuring him that she did not give up, he sighed and returned the hug, before kissing her forehead, and before she could stutter a reply, she felt lips smash on her cheek and saw Armin smiling brightly at her, and she was swarmed again with hugs._

 _"Aside from this...we don't want to tell you but, Hanji said it'll be the best for us to tell you. Heichou, when he heard your name being shouted...' Jean trailed of trying to meet his squads eyes, but they were all staring at the cemented ground._

 _"I mean we all saw it, get you swallowed by a titan, he zipped there so fast, he was almost like a blur, but then we were occupied by another batch of titans..."_

 _She had a feeling this is not good, her mind was screaming, she turned her head frantically trying to find the midget._

 _"When we looked back, you already slashed the titan from the inside, the titan was already dead courtesy of Heichou, Eren killed those titans that was swarming around, and grabbed you..." Jean can't meet the protruding gaze of Mikasa, desperate for an answer where their leader is._

 _"No..no where is he?!" She screamed frantically, lunging at Jean, and vehemently grabbed his shoulders, her nails digging in the sore flesh._

 _"Mikasa, please calm down..." Armin tried but Mikasa was persistent, bombarding Jean the question over and over again._

 _"Mikasa, cease it! It's all your fault that Heichou is missing!" They turned their heads to see Kyle, one of the elite squad._

 _"If you should've been more careful then the Strongest won't be missing, this is all your fault!" He shouted, injured soldiers started to watch and murmurs started._

 _"Please! All of you cease your damn mouth! We're all stressed here!" Screamed Hanji who was tending to the limbless shoulder of the unconscious Erwin, a tourniquet wrapped expertly around it._

 _The loss of their soldiers was more dominant than the alive, only a few soldiers were free of missing limbs or fractured bones._

 _Mikasa sunk to the ground, blocking out the concerned cries of Jean. It happened again. She acted so careless again, and now, Rivaille, the most trusted soldier, the one who can grant freedom, is missing because of her._

 _Maybe even now he's dead..._

 _No! no! Please he's not dead! He's alive!_

 _But the cries of the soldiers around her proved him wrong, her dwindling faith burned down to ashes._

 _She felt numb._

 _'Why... why did he save me... he shouldn't saved me...I'm replaceable, he isn't... '_

 _"We suffered a great loss, but due to this, we are only one step away at reclaiming our land, we, will now commence finishing the titan, we will make them extinct, right now, so offer up your damn lives for the future of the next generation!" Screamed Hanji._

 _"You crazy?!" A soldier screamed._

 _"I want to see my family!" Then dozens of protest were heard._

 _"And what? Make these cadavers die in vain? Are we showing them that their sacrifice weren't that worth it?! Think about their family!"_

 _"Think about our family when WE die!" One screamed._

 _"Then we will make sure your sacrifice weren't in vain!" Hanji screamed, she stood up, showing that she is in command, in authority, many sulked in defeat._

 _"Re-supply! Squad One lure the titans we will finish this once and for all!"_

* * *

Mikasa continued to walk in the isolated village for all the one occupying them went to welcome them, it was silent, fabric hanging on the houses fluttered around her as she continued to carry something, and headed for their headquarters.

She remembered the victory, every second of it.

* * *

 _"Goo Erennnn!" The rogue titan crystallized itself on the hole of Shiganshina and cheers erupted from every soldiers throat, Shiganshina was a mess of steaming corpse of titans, soldiers now much fewer._

 _Finally they were free._

 _Tears streamed down on every face, all of them can't believe it, after years of loss and suffering, they were finally here, victory was theirs!_

 _"Mikasa?"_

 _Mikasa turned around and saw Sasha nearing her, hands behind her back, she smiled a little before speaking._

 _"I saw this after Eren grabbed you, and I decided not to show anyone first but here."_

 _Sasha handed out a filthy cravat, Mikasa took it with slightly shaking hands, not wanting to be weak._

 _This is what all she has.. only a cravat...this is only her memory of him? This is so ridiculous! This is preposterous, but she accepted it nonetheless._

 _The victory didn't feel like victory. They cherished the victory for a while but no one knew what the reason was, but they all felt hollow, empty._

 _Their friends were no longer with them..._

* * *

Mikasa opened the door to her room, to exhausted to change and walked clumsily towards her bed face first.

Then the tears finally dampened the pillow she was now desperately clutching for life, a sob broke through out, then whimpers.

Why?!

Why him...WHY NOT HER?!

Her future would be nothing without him.

She finally found who understood her, gave her the affection she craves from her oblivious brother, someone finally held her within their arms and she felt safe, she felt like she was the luckiest girl in the world.

Yet, he was torn away from her life.

She felt so lost, like the time when her parents died, but it kind of felt worse.

So she cried, she mourned, she screamed at how unfair it was.

The hallways echoed her desperate screams, but no one heard, because no one was there for her.

"Matte, matte, watashi o nokoshite wa ikenai..."

* * *

 **Hello, this is not a one shot this will be a story so please if you did like this story please review! It'll really boost up my confidence to write more, I am sorry for any wrong grammars or misspelled words.**

 **Did you enjoy the story?**

 **Where is Rivaille?**

 **Is he coming back?**

 **Find out in the next chapter!**

 **(Bonus, did you know what she meant on the last sentence? Please comment down below, dont forget to follow or favorite my story if you were intrigued!)**

 **Did you cry?**

 **Did you felt what I felt writing this story?**

 **Thanks for reading!**


	2. Chapter 2

Everything hurts, from head to toe he thought, his body was filthy and sore, bruises marked every inch of his skin. Groaning he tried to move but cannot.

 _'Did I at least save Mikasa?'_

He looked around but all he saw was the damn nature, looming trees laughing at his vulnerable state, the sky was no longer bright but dark, crickets surrounded him with their sinister sounds, telling him that he is alone that no one will save him, his gear, he realized was just a scrap of metals now, he was thirsty and hungry at the same time weak and sleep-deprived.

It was worth it though, saving the damn brat, after slicing the neck of the titan he was thrown mercilessly against the humongous tree after that his gear malfunctioned and he fell from a good distance, crushing his metatarsals and everything on his lower part. His body was also filled with scratches, a fatal fracture on his knee, blood gathered around where he laid.

Maybe this was it, maybe his last words will not be heard, he broke his promise of freeing humanity, was all his efforts worthless? Losing myriads of comrades, choices that he tried not to regret? Losing his first friends, watching his mother die before his eyes? All those experiences flashed through his mind, and he decided that he needs rest.

Away from the grasp of desperate souls.

Away from guilt

Away from fear, fear of losing your beloved ones.

So, Levi decided, let me be free.

Let me soar freely.

"Mikasa.." He laughed mercilessly against the night, "I'm sorry, _Je t'aime..._ " (I love you...) Yet he knew that his words never reached her, it never before...

A tear escaped.

Before breathing his last breath, he laughed mercilessly against the night, laughing out his mistakes, flaws, all of it, before leaving the damned place.

"Mikasa's been in her room these past few days..." Armin muttered worriedly to his friends, they were currently gathered at a bench.

"Well, I'd also feel like that when someone sacrificed their lives for you." Sasha replied, the Survey Corps headquarters remained silent, most of its members six feet under the ground, sleeping eternally.

"Let's just go to the cafeteria, I'm sure she'll show up." Connie said before rising up from the bench, and stretching his sore muscles.

The group of friends decided to eat lunch, when they entered the cafeteria, only few people were gathered at some tables. It was silent, only the clacking of the spoon against bowl was heard.

With a nervous step, they entered and pairs of eyes directed to them, some reddish some slanted but either way they still entered for the smell of food was hard to resist, and thankfully they were serving (a little kind of fancy) food today.

They lined up and grabbed the dishes scattered out at the counter, when everyone gathered at their table, the counter was still full of food and it reminded them those cheerful moments where everyone talked, made jokes, starting a fight in the cafeteria.

Knowing those people are gone made the atmosphere even gloomy. Those person who died in the line of duty made the humanity progress even more, the government gave them proper burial for their honor and their family.

One thing they'll never forget is, how palpable were Mikasa's sobs against the muttering crowd as they witness her clutch the filthy cravat as what of reminders of Levi.

No one even know she can express so much raw expression, they didn't even knew they were more than superior and subordinate. No one noticed how they acted with one another, murmuring sweet phrases when no one is around, caressing each other's hand under the table.

No one knew they were also fragile.

To them they were killing machine, made to eradicate titans, to put away those emotions and fight for humanity, to never look back and regret.

Looking back to those memories made their stomach churn in a bad way, constantly losing their appetite as they remembered splatters of blood.

"I ... don't guys but this is just too awkward for me." Connie muttered, looking to Eren and Jean who stayed silent even before entering cafeteria, it was obvious that they were in their own world of imagination.

The doors opened and Hanji entered, humming to herself but stopped, and understood the atmosphere before getting four trays, giving the two to Moblit they started grabbing the delicious food that were still hot.

"Hey, why is she getting four? Isn't it just for her, Moblit and Danchou?" Jean said, eyeing the two in the counter.

"Maybe she still haven't got over Captain." Armin shook her head, it was obvious to all of them Levi is a precious friend of Hanji no matter how rude and grumpy he is.

Hanji who overheard looked to them and said.

"Ah, no, I was about to go here when I noticed that Mikasa's door is still clamped shut and thought that she's still there, seeing that she is not with you confirmed it, I'm just grabbing her food." She balanced her trays perfectly and walked out and noticed that the group already followed her and Moblit way out.

"Oh! Concerned for your friend eh? How about help me carry this trays then!" She handed the trays to the nearest; Armin and Eren, and headed to the hallway of Mikasa's room.

They shared conversations and a few laughters here and there but shortly they arrived and Hanji took the initative to knock and called out her name.

None.

 _Knock.Knock._

None.

"Mikasa~ Got your delicious food here, you see? I bet'cha you're hungry!" Hanji drawled, others looking at her wooden door.

"Mikasa?"

On the other side of the door, laid the girl.

As she slowly fades out of reality, she heard names calling and she decided that she was only hallucinating.

'Mikasa. . .' Her dream called out to her, and she slept, wanting to rest and get rid of this never ending exhaustion her body feels, despite the constant request of sustenance of her body.

Thus, she faded away from reality.

 _"Mikasa?! Oi! Mikasa open the god damn door!"_


	3. Chapter 3

"Mikasa..." Eren trailed off as he stared at his sister, after the incident at her door he couldn't help but kick down her door, worrying what have happened to her.

The squad laid down at the space on her bed as Hanji continued to examine Mikasa's state, everyone was anxious, Mikasa was a motherly-figure to them, and seeing her like this didn't feel right for them.

"She's got into depression." Hanji muttered darkly. Seeing the girl's bag of eyes and palpable cheek bones it made her feel guilty. Hanji knew how much she loved her friend Levi, and the fact that she wasn't here for her made her chest constrict.

If she was here all the time, this could've been avoided.

"We need to be around her everytime got it? Make sure she eats daily, and take it slow and easy." They nodded and Hanji stood up and left with Moblit, their trays balanced on each hand.

"So, guys, how can we treat her if we even can't relate to her mental health?" Connie muttered, looking at Mikasa, a girl he idolized yet here bedridden looking frail. They knew she was sulking, but not this bad, she was the stoic Mikasa they all know, but it was revealed that she was still a teenager with emotions, Connie sighed, Mikasa was there for him when he lost his mother, and he knew that Mikasa didn't want him sad, because he was the funny guy, to break the ice when atmospheres are serious.

"Mikasa. . . Please, return to us." Sasha sobbed as she hugged the girl's forearms, she misses her, where is the Mikasa she'd known all the time? _'Please, don't change, we're here for you. . .just please.'_ She thought as tears streamed down on her face and damping the girl's sleeves.

"Let's just wait here, besides we're full and have nothing to do." Jean said, looking at Mikasa's porcelain face, and couldn't help but frown when he saw her bulging cheek bones. "Anyone has schedules?"He asked once again and looking each of their faces. Thankfully all of them has none.

Armin and Eren sat closer to their sister, Eren laying down with her before closing his eyes, remembering the times when they used to sleep together when they were still children, kicking each other in their sleep, stealing the only blanket made of fleece. He mentally laughed, he misses those time, he snuggled closer to her warmth, and both he and Armin succumb to unconsciousness.

* * *

 _Mikasa felt consciousness going back to her nerves, her tresses were slaying slightly to the chilly breeze, and she opened her eyes and was blinded on how bright it is, she adjusted her eyes until the brightness was adequate, and she was flabbergasted at the scene before her eyes, this was nothing she used to see in Wall Rose, it seemed so modern._

 _She stood up, adjusting her uniform but couldn't, her clothes were different, she was wearing a blouse that exposed her shoulders and collarbone, and was loosely fit, and what seemed like a skirt that reached up to her knees, on her feet was something like a heel her mother mentioned to her once. Not used to these type of clothes she tried to walk but ended up planting her face in the earth._

 _"Mugh. . . " She muttered as she hoisted herself upright, and decided to walk without these so called heels, she held it in her fingers, and thankfully, her scarf was still on her neck, wrapped snugly and she walked in what she thinks as a pavement, tall structures surrounded her, few was taller than their walls and her heart couldn't help but palpitate, does that mean that humanity won?_

 _She yelped when something passed by her, what the hell was that?! She scrutinized it and the culprit contains four wheels with panes? It looks like a transportation, but without a horse, she wants to follow it to investigate further, but discarded the thought when she saw one parked. She walked closer and looked inside the panes, it contains two separate seats at the front and a long one at the back, the left chair contained something circular. 'Maybe that's how they steer it.' She thought and there was this stick between the two chairs. This transportation was black and has a cooler structure than the rectangular-like transportation she saw earlier with a 'Taxi' saying at the top. Then suddenly people walked out of their doors and looked at her._

 _'I can be seen.' Her mind panicked, her chest constricted as her pupils dilated, then out of nowhere they waved kindly leaving her dumbfounded._

 _"Hello, young lady, Audi cars look good ey?"A lanky man approached her, so this transportation was called a car? She nodded, not knowing what to answer, the man was wearing fine clothes, it looked like what Levi used to wear when he was injured but with a maroon tie._

 _"Uhm, sir, may I ask what year is it?" She queried shyly, she looked at the man and he was looking at her like she have two heads, the man noticed her face waiting an answer then he replied unsurely, "2017...young lady, why?" He witnessed as her face morphed into sheer shocked, and he couldn't help but surmise that this was a prank. "T-thank you, Sir." She said before walking off, leaving the man dumbfounded._

 _Mikasa then continued to satisfy her curiosity as she wandered off this fascinating village, or was it called a village? She looked around and saw a lot of stands that sells sustenance, there was this called 'hotdogs' and she couldn't help and think, a dog is a food now? She shivered at the thought, she liked dogs and cats but them being a food? 'No way, nuh uh.' She stopped in an intersection and watched as this pole-thing with red and green lights turned green and peoples walked in the white rectangular paintings that ends to the other side. There was this bigger pole-thing but this time it has an orange color, the color turned green and cars started to move as the people stopped._

 _'And that must be a signal. . . like our flares?'_

 _A person crossed and bumped her, she shook her head and was surprised how the man was able to knock her out of her feet by just bumping to her._

* * *

"Ugh..." Mikasa groaned before opening her eyes, and seeing the familiar ceiling. She was back, her side was warm and she looked to the side seeing her friends sleeping soundly by her side. 'Was that a dream, or a memory?' She thought incredulously, 'I just dreamed the future, but that damn man woke me up, tch.' She hastily got up and grabbed the journal, unaware that she woke her friends, and scribbled furiously as she tried to draw the cars in her dream, satisfied with the structure she draw, she wrote next to the structure a 'car' then drawing the pole-thing, and named it 'signal', sketching the structures roughly and named them 'buildings' and closed her journal. Her eyes wide, heart palpitating as she covet to go back to the dream.

"Mikasa?" She turned her head to them who was looking unsure at her, she smiled at them, waving then gathered her clothes and ran clumsily towards their shower.


	4. Chapter 4

Her heart was palpitating, and it hurts, it hurts to breath. She's leaning in the wall while the shower relentlessly flowed at her back and she's just staring at the drain and the water flowing down to it. What did that mean, was it really all just a dream, or is it really the future? Tears flowed freely in her cheeks, she'd been expecting to at least see Levi in her dreams, that at least would finally calm her raging emotions to finally ease her heart that ached for someone who was no longer with her.

So in the shower, where no one could hear her, she sobbed yet, she muffled it in her arms as warm tears slid and dropped.

* * *

 _I remembered the day I was laying in the cold ground, I remembered when I saved Mikasa and met my fate. I remembered the callous whisper of the breeze lulling me to sleep and to never wake again, I remember it all._

Levi stared at his watch before locking his suitcase and checked to see if he unplugged all electronics, switched off all lights and one glanced at the kitchen before he locked his house and began walking. It was mind boggling, to think that the afterlife he dreamed off was just another chance at living in the future. He was so confused how things worked here, it took him time adjusting to this advanced, modern world and once he adapted to it, life wasn't hard anymore, these gadgets and technologies made life easier. There are transportation faster than horses, weapons greater than their iron swords.

It was hard, getting a house and a job, it seemed like he started from scratch, but he was glad his appearance stayed with him, the glares could still intimidate people even when he was the one intimidated secretly. It was nice working in the tea shop and he was shocked too see various kinds of tea, and sadly, there are teas back then that were no longer here. From working in a tea shop to being a respectable one, the job is hard but manageable, at first he was hesitant the building was so damn tall, taller than the walls back then.

And he checked his watch once again and paused at the pavement along with other people to cross at the intersection when the lights turned green he turned his head. His eyes widened and his jaws dropped, to see that girl he loved so much, missed so much. Before he knew it he was already running towards her, but her head wasn't turned towards him, she was looking at the stoplight and damn he was crying.

Finally his wish was granted, he can now hold her in his arms again, lying on the bed as the sunlight bathed them and he will be whispering all the things he wasn't able to say at that day, he can finally kiss her, tell her that how much he loves her.

And he was pushing people aside and when she was turning her head in his direction he dashed, ready to scoop her in his arms.

He didn't expect to faze through, and fall face first in the pavement.

 _"Huh?"_

He turned his head to her direction, and she wasn't there.

"Mikasaa..." Tears dripped down on his jaw as people asked him if he's okay.

* * *

She wrapped her hair in the towel as she finished buttoning her dress, when she woke up, the adrenaline was still with her, and when it wore off, the emotions that she tried to keep at bay suddenly drowned her, she folded her clothes before rising up lethargically and sighed as she switched off the lights on the shower hall, besides she was the only this late to use the shower, everyone was doing chores beside her squad since they were the one to witness the attack, and she remembered how careless she was, she was so stupid to let her guard down, the titan already swallowed her and she ripped out a scream as she slid down the slippery throat of the titan and her name was screamed and adrenaline rushed to her when the titan fell down and the juices almost drowned her and it was so disgusting, fear was just what she could think and thankfully she finally formed a slit and she was thrown to the land just in time, to see the hand that callously swipe Corporal like a fly would, she saw him thrown and out of sight.

 _She didn't realize the scream came from her throat, and before she could dart towards the direction her Corporal was flung at a titan already grabbed at her jacket, and she was staring against a green orbs, and she calmed a little, she wish she can dart towards there and find her captain but she was weary and almost out of supplies. Oh how she wish to find Levi._

 _It was silly, she hated her captain at first, for beating Eren like he was his punching bag, she swore to slit his throat silently and painfully, but that anger soon turned to admiration then in a blink of an eye they were helping each other, always back to back, she never knew that she could care for one more person to place in her heart, because he wiggled his way into her heart silently without her noticing, but she wasn't disappointed, she loved Levi, and she wasn't going to regret that choice._

 _It was silly really, she would just go to lengths like this when Armin or Eren was involved but no, that Corporal was already in her, fitting the missing piece in her heart._

 _Eren cried inside his titan form when he heard Mikasa screaming and wailing as he did when the titan who ate his mother appeared before their eyes, he never heard her scream like that, he witnessed it the way the titan swallowed her, Corporal screaming her name then killing the titan, and flung in a direction he can't decipher, and Mikasa finally calmed down, due to exhaustion, and he roared an ear-splitting roar and he charged against the Titans, Armin landed in his hair and grabbed Mikasa and through the corner of his vision, he saw the green orbs looking at him then to Mikasa and he understood what Eren meant. He landed in the carriage and removed her scarf and laid it on her head._

 _Damn, he heard all her screams even in the air, she was so desperate when he took a look at her face, as if the walls she build around her suddenly collapsed. Sasha landed beside him and he saw that the Corporal's cravat was in her pocket, their eyes connected and switched at Mikasa they nodded in understanding and they flew off to finally finish this chaos._

The time she went back to her room the squad was watching her every move, and to her surprise, Armin was scrutinizing her messy sketch, before looking expectantly at her. Eren stood up and caressed her cheek before looking at her puffy eyes and his trademark frown was placed in his face and hugger her so tightly.

"Please, don't do this to yourself."

"Levi wouldn't want this."

And she couldn't count how many she cried today.


	5. AU

Hello, but this story would be on Hiatus until June 30, I can't focus since my mother just passed away from Lung Cancer. And I need some time, thank you for your support in this story, the upcoming chapter after June 30 would be a long one.

Thank you

Salamat!


	6. Chapter 5

**Hello, I know in my profile it was stated to update every other week, but it can be hard without motivation or all, I'm not the type of person to leave stories hanging, so for the people who were staying with this story till now, thank you for your loyalty to my story, I'm not a good writer, but I try my best to be one.**

 **English is not my mother language, so maybe you'll find any common grammatical mistakes, spellings even, but I assure you I try my best as I can to proofread my stories**

 **As always, Read and Review!**

Eren observed his sister who clung tightly to his frame as she let her tears freely flow down her cheeks, muting her sobs to his chest, her knuckles a deadly white as she clutched her shirt as if her life depended on it, no sooner than he hugged her, Armin joined from behind, his own tears falling seeing their childhood friend broken over their captain.

The somber atmosphere surrounded the squad as the oriental filled it with her sobs, Eren's shirt beginning to damp because of the dripping waters from her hair, but he didn't care, anything. Just anything to see his sister smiling.

He needs to see that fire in her eyes, he didn't like how her eyes are so dull, it reminded him so much the first day he met her, and he swore to himself, he'll never see this again.

As he kissed the crown of her head, Armin started to murmur words of comfort, trying to at least soothe her breaking heart.

 _Please, never again._

 _Why does she keeps losing so much._

 _You deserved better, 'Kasa._

Tired of always weeping, and kind of embarrassed being seen in such a vulnerable state, she detached herself from her brother and Armin took a step back, both boys looking at her, concern in their eyes, and pity hidden, she wiped her warm tears and apologized for Eren's ruined shirt. Suddenly the atmosphere in her room, somehow lightened up, it's temporary though, she thinks, inhaling, she greeted the squad and apologized for such seeing a state from her. The squad humbly said that it was normal to weep for one's lost. Calming her burdened heart a little, she moved to the bed, the squad giving her way as she sat on the bed and decided to eat the food that was left in the table, surprisingly, even left in such a long duration, it was still warm, although the bread was already stale, and surprisingly, not one in her dishes is missing.

She took a glance at her friend, who looked away sheepishly, saying that she wasn't hungry, concerned eyes now turned to Sasha, now that the attention was turned to Sasha, she started to eat, lips turning slightly as the squad bombarded Sasha with questions, it was like back then, those memories she never thought would keep, those people who she never thought would be friends, now cherished in her heart, maybe, after all, living without Levi wouldn't be that painful with these newfound family. Tattered and broken, yes it may not be the best, but it was the reason why they became as one family.

It made a temporary relief in her heart, the emotions now at bay, she slurped in the warm soup, delighted at the scene before her as the squad, now bickering. With Levi gone, it may be harder keeping them safe, but they're almost there. They're almost attaining freedom, thinking at that thought, she wondered how heavy shoulders will be lightened, she no longer needed to protect them, to keep worrying about them, finally those nightmare that shook her up, waking in damp clothes, will be gone, her heart would be no longer in fragments.

But wouldn't that mean separation?

Ah, there it is again, the clenching of her heart at the thought, they wouldn't need her anymore, she knows it's not true, but she can't rid of these nasty overthinking of hers, it was the one that burdened her in times of desperate situations, she'd make irrational and impulsive decisions and later on deal with nasty consequences, it was the one who can kill her if she ever made a mistake. Over all, it was the one that restrained her.

And she needed someone who would break these chains bounded in her for her to be free of all these thoughts, thoughts that lingered and haunted her day and night, unrelenting. How can she be free of this when the one capable of that is gone in her life? But she can't give up can she? She can do it herself, it takes time, but she promised herself that she will pick up herself, she'll be the one to lift off these burdens, maybe its time to get out of her shell. It's time to finally break down the walls and rebuild bridges.

"M'kasa?"

Ah, she'd been crying again. Shaking her head sideways at the squad, she rose up, tray in hand and stood up, making way for the door, Jean opened the door for her, seeing that she'd be returning the tray, asked if needed company, she shook her head no, and she silently made her way towards the cafeteria, she'd been expecting a lively cafeteria really, not this silence, only broken by clinking utensils and the sound of boiling water. The door creaked as she entered the chef looking at her before nodding to the sink, seeing that a pile was already created, she put hers on the top most before leaving, nodding goodbye to the chef who was cooking alone.

The sun was already setting, creating a pastel hue of violet and pink as it scattered over the horizon, its last beams before departing entering the windows, creating a natural light in the hall. Maybe, she will have a faster progress if she decided to take her mind off Rivaille, and focus on moving on and strengthening herself.

Humming when the dream resurfaced to her mind, she surmised it wasn't a dream, and decided to go back if possible.

 **Just a short story for a while, please, I'm dying for reviews so please leave one!**


	7. Chapter 7

Mikasa wasn't really focused the whole day. Her mind shifting to fantasy and reality, and couldn't decipher which one is happening right now. With the squad gone, have departed at their resting places to recover their strength. Her heart couldn't stop hammering at the thought of sleeping and waking up to the alternate reality she found. She sighed and rolled over to the other side of her soft cushioned bed, clutching the thin blanket towards her chin.

She sighed. No matter how comfortable her position is, she couldn't really sleep, it's as if sleep know she's going back and isn't letting her. She ground her teeth desperate to fall asleep, finally the room is warm and she's starting to sweat and suddenly the thin blanket felt so thick she shrugged it off and she welcomed the small relief the wind offered from her window.

With an irritated grunt, she lifted herself above her bed and started to walk despite the hour and went out of her room. She scanned the dimly lit hallways both sides and turned right, passing by her fellow comrades' room with a stealth no one could challenge except her captain. The twitch of her heart was already expected, as not to rouse any more thoughts towards him she dropped the quietness of her travel and enjoyed the noise of her feet against the dead hallway.

The moment she stepped out of the castle, a shiver went through her spine and she hugged herself, regretting the decision to leave her jacket, leaving her only in her scarf and her thin nightgown. Still, she continued to walk towards the training grounds. The scratch of her footwear against the dirt reminded her of their graduation ceremony, from all their blood, sweat and tears this is what they've reached so far and she's so proud.

Suddenly a gush of wind blew her seemingly vulnerable frame and she shivered more but still continued to walk away from the castle and furthermore in the middle of the training ground. When she finally halted, rays of moonlight illuminated her beautiful face and casting her crown a nice glow. She closed her eyes and let the sound of the wind and leaves enter her sensation. She missed meditating with him.

With a furrow of her thin eyebrows, she took a sharp turn ignoring the sharp stab of her heart. She's overreacting she told herself.

 _Why am I so overreacting, why can't I just move on just as how I moved on from every death of my beloved one. Always a little too late to save._

No, she's not going to cry, no she's so tired of crying her eyes out till exhaustion. She doesn't need more concern, doesn't need more pity. She isn't a little girl anymore crying over her parent's death. No, she's a woman who was capable of slaying men, she's a character worthy of praise and honor. She's strong and could now protect her beloved ones. She's capable of handling her own and guiding her teammates despite her skill with teamwork.

 _Yet why couldn't you save Levi_

She let out a cry as she was overwhelmed once again, headaches suddenly started overwhelming her to the point she's down to her knees, clutching her forehead as her head wracked with the pain of memories of Levi and with a petulant face tears started to flow and landing on the hard earth near her knees and she could just helplessly watch the tears flow freely and she loathes herself.

Not wanting to burden her squadmate further she stood up, her knees wobbling and weak yet she forced to take a step one by one, stepping till she's back at the castle and she's shaking from both the headache and the cold and she's shivering, gasping for breath. Her vision was blurry and she hurried up to her room and collapsed ungraceful at the bed and she's catching her breath as she calmed her thundering heart that threatened to burst out.

* * *

 _Before she knew it sleep finally claimed her restless figure away from the chilly night and deeper to the one she longed for the whole day. Suddenly she woke up to a busy street, those moving transportations are surrounding her. Myriad of them passed her by making her a little intimidated and she's back where the person has suddenly hit her, and she's surrounded by people near the road, there were people waiting at the opposite side and she looked at the structure she named signal and watched it go from red to green and the people around her started to move. Brought along the crowd she's overwhelmed how these people are full of joy whereas theirs was stricken with fear and anger, they were clutching something in their hands that they kept tapping she tried to look over their shoulders what it is but people stared at her as if she's intruding their privacy or going to steal their whatever that is._

 _She sighed at her cluelessness about this world so modern, she couldn't help but feel so stupefied about the things happening around her. People were bustling about this huge tower, entering in such a rowdy manner similar to the people desperate to run to safety from the titans. Their clothes all looked so elegant that hers was just so simple and tattered in need of stitches, but hey you have what you need. All of their items of clothing are either colorful or adorned myriad of designs, their shirts also adorned a written text as if you wrote on paper, drawing on shirts instead of paper and before she knew it she started liking them. They were colorful and also looked so comfortable in them._

She started to walk away from the bustling people in the near tower and she walked into a more serene place with food stands that littered, they all looked so tasty and also colorful. She wanted to try that triangular slice topped with / is that meat/ and a circular reddish thing she can't determine on top of melted cheese, she glanced at the name of the food stand and there it said Pizza. What in the world is that and why does it look so delicious.

 _She's suddenly craving foods that weren't present in their current world. A rough hand grabbed her hand and her instinct worked and she shifted readily to grasp and lock the man's elbow before they raised their free hand surrendering. She dropped the stance and remembered that she is not a soldier here, but a citizen of this city._

 _"You look hungry, dear. May I offer you pizza?" Mikasa can never stop the tears that flowed from her eyes as she saw that familiar shining black hair like hers, those gentle eyes and soft lips. She hugged the stranger suddenly and she was sobbing. The food stand owner was watching from the side confused when Mikasa retracted, the pain of knowing that her mother doesn't know her in this world made her feel so lonely once again. The one she knew from the heart is now a stranger before her and that's what hurts the most._

 _The woman smiled and grasped Mikasa's chin, tilting so she could look her in the eyes._

 _"Mikasa, my sweet loving daughter."_

 _Shock was the first thing that her face expressed but slowly melted into such a mournful face and she can't stop sobbing now despite the confused looks people around her were given. Her mother knew her, her mother is still alive in this world and this is what matters and she clung to her mother who lost her time. Sobs wracked her entire frame and this time she wasn't ashamed she was crying because of pure joy. Reuniting with her mother again after such a cruel departing she witnessed._

 _"H-how, mother. . . I missed you so much. I'm sorry for being such a failure, I'm so sorry for not saving you and dad, sorry for being so weak." She cried in her mother's arm as she cried the bottled up emotions regarding her parents that she hid so well and the walls she built so high started to crumble. Holding her mother at arms length, she raked her eyes towards her mother, burning it to her memory, if ever this dream is just really a dream._

 _"Let me explain to you, us Oriental and the clan of your father, the Ackerman has this power whereas they could travel from another world through sleeping, activating the possibility to enter another world and this, you see, when we departed, remained forever here for this is where we live right now, the current year, your year is so old dear, and I've learned so much by staying and observing them. Their inventions are seemingly great and have the potential to be your trick to finally gain the freedom you all long desired for."_

 _"Mother wait, this is all too much to take in, can we go to our house."_

 _Speaking of home._

 _"Okasa, where is Dad?"_

 _"He's working dear, come! And I'll tell you about more, Mikasa. I love you."_

 _Mikasa let her mother tug her sleeves farther away from the overwhelming structures that soon faded into vegetation, she held a breath, their house was still made of logs and the nostalgic feeling of living once there made her heartthrob. Her parents still kept vegetation around and have some few farm animals grazing on the grass just nearby their house. Although their house looked more elevated and wider, it adorned a second floor which she surmised was her parent's room._

 _She entered along with her mother and the scent of wood and pine brought her to a sense of peace. She grabbed a chair and sat down and waited for her mother to change so they could talk. She looked around and every table was no more wood but glass. Rack of spices ran along the walls of the kitchen and different kind of utensils are arranged on a glass slide. Pans were hooked to the wall with various size and purpose._

 _Just how much did this world improve?_

 _Finally her mother went down the stairs and she couldn't help but look again at her mother with saddened eyes. She missed her so much she wants her back to her world. Her mother sat across her and finally stared at her in the eyes._

 _"What is it that you desire to know?"_

 _"Why do I not know this? That we can travel from this dimension? It's all to much to take in."_

 _"I'm not really so sure about it neither but people said in this generation it's time travel. You're traveling through time when you're sleeping dear. You're physical body would disappear here when you're waking up to the other side. I can't determine when you'll rouse from your sleep so ask as much as possible."_

 _"What happened to us?"_

 _Her mother stayed silent._

 _"Dear, trust me I'm really tempted to pass the information to you, but it would alter the future."_

 _"So I can't know? Maybe I can know at some point! I would still act the same!"_

 _"Mikasa, no one, even you, can gurantee that. Emotions are what makes are weak and strong. I know you long enough to see that you'll be impulsive."_

 _Mikasa gritted her teeth when the feeling of cluelessness creeped in her mind._

 _"Ask another one."_

 _"Educate me about this world."_

 _Her mother smiled and lifted herself before going to their spacious living room and grabbing thick books and sat down again before laying the heavy books before her daughter's eyes._

 _"Let's start shall we?"_


	8. Chapter 8

_"You're telling me, that this is an air-wha?"_ _Her mother chuckled, despite growing her daughter to be a smart girl, she couldn't pronounce foreign, new words due to the improvement of the language and culture of the land._ _"An airplane, dear" She drawled as her daughter tried to tell it with her._

 _"You can use it as a transportation?"_

 _"Yes, it is more, convenient and faster and in the air."_

 _"Like our gear?"_

 _"N-no, let's take a boat for example, it is huge and works in water, is it not?" She waited for Mikasa to nod. "As for a carriage or a cart, it runs in land. Now, this airplane, functions in air, they're huge and big. They fit myriad of people and uses a structure that resembles a wing and ran by an engine."_

 _Her mother stopped as she absorbed the_ _information._ _'People, are really pretty advanced here.'_

 _"How is it made?"_

 _"Metals not found in your place, dear." Her mother saw that look in her eyes, sighing, knowing she must not tell, but dear, would she like to at least boost her daughters skill at survival._

 _"Can I-"_ _The creaking of the door stopped Mikasa's sentence as a step resonated and she knew she couldn't be mistaken about those blonde hair. Before she knew it she was leaping towards her father._

Shock _can't compare to her father's face, seeing her daughter, here, and leaping towards him. Before he knew it, he was clutching her and chuckling. He and his wife knew how it was so lonely not having their young daughter around, but look how magnificent she'd grown. A doppelganger of his wife._

 _"Mikasa!" He started after hugging her, caressing her face with his huge, gentle palms, memorizing the curves and contours of her face. Her hair, her hair was short but the color still remained similar to the abyss and he combed her hair with his fingers, smiled when it didn't contain any tangles._

 _"Look at how big you've grown." He said with a smile, softening when his very own daughter was crying._

 _"It looks like a nice reunion, ey?" The raspy tone made her on edge and on instinct put herself between her family and Kenny, using herself as a shield._

 _"Woah! Woah! Put her on a leash, sheesh!"_ _Kenny said as he backed a step, hands up in surrender, knowing how protective the girl is._

 _"Your parents know my history, girl. They accepted me, trust me I've changed! Heh, never got a chance to say a farewell to that brat, tell him for me woudya'?"_

 _"Levi's dead." She said with a harsh tone, still untrusting. The look of animosity then changed to realization. Meanwhile Kenny smiled knowing what the girl is thinking._

 _"Then, that means!"_ _She made a move to the door but Kenny blocked her way._

 _"Look, I know you wanna rush and go lookin for him, but you'd be a fool doing that."_

 _Mikasa scowled but thought of it_ , _she tried to relax her speeding heart because she can finally see him again! Ease this pain she's felt felt for so long. Let her pain be finally at rest knowing his alive in this world._

 _"What you need to know, is, about your heritage." Kenny said, glancing at her parents that looked away when Mikasa followed his look_

 _"You hold something in-"_

 _"Kenny wait. This information will reveal itself! Let it wait." Her father said with a stern voice._

'So _you want your daughter to suffer?' Kenny looked at him with a gaze, knowing he'll understand._

'It _must be done that way." Her parents looked away._

 _"I-i hold what? Mother? Please, I am curious!"_

 _"Dear, this is not something for us for you to tell. This is important for you to know it yourself in_ your _time." There, again she felt so clueless, she tried to control her growing hatred, because they are right. What if she changed it horribly?_

 _"Mikasa."_ _She looked up._

 _"You're waking up in your world. Goodbye, for now." She looked at her hands and they were disappearing, waving goodbye, content to seeing them for now. She didn't glance at Kenny but she knew he was smirking._.

She met a cold, crispy air and she groaned, her eyes was still red shot of what she did yesterday, her feet a little numb. She changed her filthy night clothes that was stained with the earth and that'll be suspicious.

 _'That book really looked thick, and we were just only at the start.'_ She sat on the bed and thought about what she was going to do. Her heart was still fluttering at the thought of seeing Levi, again.

She didn't knew she missed him so much and she thought she was moving on. A knock on her door startled her train of thoughts and Sasha entered with a food tray.

Seeing the girl awake, Sasha smiled,

"Breakfast?"

 **Would she meet Levi on the next chapter? Yes or no?**

 **Hello dear readers! I am so sorry for the delay update, school is really busy for I am desperately trying to be in the honors, also practicing due to a competition coming up! Chemistry is hard and I need suggestions of some link/apps that could boost me.** **Happy New Year! Commit to your New Year Resolutions Guys!**


End file.
